i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
