i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Terrible idea I love it
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
