i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
