Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
