playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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