i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
