Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
home. puking in laundry basket.
In America we eat man semen.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You may now shotgun with the bride
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
