Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
