Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
