OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
