my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My vagina is officially offended.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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