party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
