I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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