My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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