and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize