Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
