Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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