and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
