I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
