I can tuck mytits in my pants
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
