I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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