help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
