Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
