ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
