I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
