I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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