Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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