i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
But break dance skills will only take you so far
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
