Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize