Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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