Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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