Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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