In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
