Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
