So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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