Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
