My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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