ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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