Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
