his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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