I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
