Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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