Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
