Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
