i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
