So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize