Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
