Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
