i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
