drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
