I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This baby is an asshole
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
