as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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