But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
