I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
