Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize