Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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