i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
