i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
