I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
