spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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